It was this or that
Now or then
To be or not to be
Always a decision
Always to decide
Always have to know
Always need to getby
I’m scared and I feel overwhelmed,
Will I always need to know and to do?
Can’t I ever be just puzzled – at lost,
Can’t I ever have some one else to blame on?
Sometime I feel that I am at lost
Sometime it feels that I need to get lost
(The Daily Post prompt – symbiosis)
Of Hurts and Promises
Another wear day
Night fell and you’re all worn out
The world taken its toll on you
Each pain endured
A little of you dies out
Crashing the bed with you whole soul burdened onto it
This weary dreary body
Is all used up
Let me show you the stars tonight
It’s like an open throbbing wound
Looking ahead yet sees nothing
Knowing this journey isn’t a symbiosis link
You’re torn apart yet the path still shooting you right to the chest into your heart out through your spine
Under these blankets so warm
The dark soothes
Each passing day
When you skids and bleeds
Wounded and scarred
Crying in deep nights
Screaming silently under ignoring eyes
I’ll still be here you
Protecting your existence even when you don’t want it anymore
I’ll be anything you need
I’ll be everything you need
He is a joy.
My own personally tailored dose.
He is uncontainable, wreckless, messy.
But he stand firmly, with sureness and authority.
Yet he would smile playfully and agitatingly affectionate,
Here I am mesmerized and stunned.
In the morning he’ll have coffee,
Black with sugar.
Bitter with hint of sweet.
His spectacles seem to never leave his sight
and he will refuse anywhere but near me.
He like his morning so.
We didn’t talk.
Only appreciative calmness.
Like a peck on my cheek while i take my heavenly first coffee sip.
Tucking his chin on my shoulder while showing todays news on his sleek black metallic smartphone.
On rainy days he’ll make me wear sweater,
Stroking my feet justifying the need for sock,
And we’ll watch tv,
Never romantic ones cause well, we never really did.
Maybe some actions ones
Contented with the rain, under the shade of a homey home.
That we both build.
Can’t you hear the deafening sound of my silence?
The thundering clash of a shattered heart
The wailing of pain behind a stone hard face of lies
It used to be that I smiled to convince myself
That those sounds is just made up by my silly mind
But now I’m just blank
It is now just some blank spaces that grows inside my soul
You never really care how heart tear
You never really see how wound bleed
You never really know how tear despair
You never really know me when you claim that you will always be
You won’t hear me out
I’m shutting you down
I’m collecting every fraction of bravery and strength
Binding every piece
Trying to make some shape out of it
But it turned out into an ugly mess
Like those monster that bumped in the nights
I’m so broken
I can’t even let you go
You’re poison and I’m masochist
What To Do. What To Do.
I am undone.
I am messy.
I am a ship without direction.
I am a ship with burden.
I am lost.
I got a degree back in my pocket.
Studies ought to give success.
What does success really is?
What to do. What to do.
I got a hope from each soul.
Expecting, knowing, I’ll be a success.
A future already drawn.
What to do. What to do.
I got a heart burning passionately.
I want to hunt to conquer to live.
Grab a success that I carve on my own.
What to do. What to do.
I am lost.
A lost cause.
Please grip me tight.
Raise me from this perdition.
I don’t need a destination.
I just want courage.
A Lost Soul
Out of spite and out of anger
So I shouted out loud and I tempered high up
Expression stricken and stiffen
It is hatred yes it is pure evil
Blanch it all please dear Lord
Save the soul of a hopeless ignorant
Save me, save me, save me
I am drowning down under and the water is tearing my eyes and took up my breath and swallowing me whole
Save me from the whispers of sweet nothings that darken my heart
Turning it into hard coal
So they say keep praying and you’ll be given the light
Keep praying and may this venging heart cries
Ball of Joy
Don’t you know you are an inspiration ?
Your presence is a fresh breeze
A smile so pure a joy so raw
An innocence to be celebrated
Of efforts and selfless need
Of an essence to be treasured
Don’t you know ?
Leaning close to our memories
Fondly so dear in the shared together
Thinking you made me feel complete
But still wanting what the world can offer
Replaying you in my mind palace
Your laughter you smile your grin and cheer
Even in place we feel out of place
Having your close made the path so clear
Stucking my face onto your worn trench coat
Hating the time we were distanced so far
Hating you are not here for me to dote
But I know I’ll have you, as you always are
(This post was made for the Daily Post prompt on 18/03/2017 – controversy)
This is pain
In case you don’t know, maybe now you can,
People scared of things they don’t understand
Or else I couldn’t ever comprehend
How you laughed over this pain of mine
Pain made you uneasy
Made you into this mess of misery
That you hide behind faux cheeky unneeded commentary
Making it up into a controversy
Since you always love one side of a story
Forgone the other side entirely
Maybe it is less spicy
Maybe it neutralise the hot news you serve over a cup of tea
When you choose so that the other side as something you’ll never see
But this is pain
A true cold stinging pain
Each time you said those word so vain
They say word’s sharp
They do because now it slices me – inches into my skin
I know you can’t see
So now I tell you this is pain I have upon me
Slicing deeper with each word you speak
Each little joys you enjoy over a so-called controversy
Maybe it will forever be your own version of controversy
Because the other side of the story
Is too pure that your small heart can never be taught to feel
It’s a cold night
I’m walking ahead
Leaving an eerie path
Yet up ahead
It still is dark
But the road’s taken
Aimed to be beaten
For I’m not to be weaken
As I keep on walking